I've found us a church!

New church holds service in bar to reach new people
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Apr 21, 1:24 PM (ET)

SIDNEY, Ohio (AP) - Another round and amen! Beer was on tap and a mechanical bull inspired the sermon as a new church held its inaugural service in a western Ohio bar.

The Country Rock Church drew about 100 people to Sunday night's meeting at the Pub Lounge in Sidney, 35 miles north of Dayton.

The barroom church is an offshoot of Sidney United First Methodist Church, whose head pastor says he's been looking for creative ways to reach people in unconventional places.

The church's Web site for its new branch advertises "Top regional bands, pizza, wings, rowdy fun & a short message."

The Rev. Chris Heckaman says people really seemed to enjoy themselves so he expects the Country Rock Church will meet weekly.

Heckaman's sermon compared staying on the bar's mechanical bull to learning how to get along in life.

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ROFLMAO!

Is their baptismal font filled with beer?

if not, we'll make sure it is for ours!!

But I can't float in beer anymore!!! not enough bubbles to carry my heavy burdens, champagne or rum and soda, more my cup (glass) of tea...

Give your burdens to the lord!!!! Cast them away!!! There are no burdens!! PTL!!

Actually, I was just joking about my burdens. Gave my burdens away a long time ago! Hear they're still searching to find someone to hang around with, but haven't found anyone yet. They're still lookin' I guess! By now, they've probably settled down in some other dimension.....really far from here *S*!!!!, thank god!

Can I wear a big pink wig and false eyelashes? Of course, I'll need a ton of plastic surgery and boubly lips. Praise the Lord and Pass the Pink Hair Dye!

Depends on where the party is. Maybe at Hooter's Barbi Q down the street? Jesus was tellin' me the other day, "It's been over 2,000 years since we last talked, how's Mary doing these days? I hear she's gettin kinda fat. Is she and Jane havin trubble wid da Lard again?

Heckaman, Huckleberry, I tell my sis, "Honey, you been complainin about nobody at the doctor's office recognizes your worth, honey, if you can sell Jesus the way you do, you aught to sell real estate!" She didn't know I was just jokin'. She quit her job, got a license from ReMax, made the millionaire's club sales team in less than six months, bought a ritzy 500,000 home in posh neighborhood and quit the Baptist church. Now she's a "New Life Christian" church member just down from the neighborhood she always wanted to belong to.....

shtttt, just as soon as I edited my post a PURE WHITE DOVE came right up to my balcony, stopped a second or two, then continued up into the sky....

Be The Miracle wrote:

Can I wear a big pink wig and false eyelashes?
Of course, I'll need a ton of plastic surgery
and boubly lips. Praise the Lord and Pass the Pink Hair Dye!

That woman makes me want to pull my hair out! I was channel surfing a couple of years ago when I discovered the cotton candy pink haired craptastic Jan. Now I deliberately look for her because I just cannot believe my eyes!

I saw her on that program "Smile of a Child," and she was walking around in heels, leopard skin pants, with that crapalicious pink hair, holding some little fluffy dog, and praying. I hate to say this, but I don't think GOD was listening to her. I could be wrong, but I think when she had the "Praying for Plastic Surgery" Seminar GOD may have turned her channel off.

her channel, her tube, her tunnel......

Spring, my favorite is when she goes to children's hospitals in thrid world countries and passes out Barbies. Yeah, that's just what those poor kids need. Nothing spreads the love of Jesus like handing an African, Asian, or Hispanic child a blue-eyed blond piece of crap-plastic that symbolizes the warped American ideal of "beauty." WTF. WE won't have any of that at our new church! lol

I know I have my share of sarcasm and sly humor about plastic christians, but at the same time, the beautiful teachings (whatever we've got left) of Jesus get lost in the phoney-baloney bubble. These people do more damage, turning people AWAY from his teachings rather than towards them, as though they either don't care, would like to be the chosen elite f...k the peasants, same as they did thousands of years ago, or are just plain off in fantasy park. Yet we go on, LIVING His teachings as best we can..... because THE TEACHINGS ARE SO REAL.....!

Does anybody really believe Jesus wants us to look like this? This woman made Tammy Faye look like a natural beauty!

Oh Boy BTM you got me started. LOL :gaaa: :dark:

SPRING, the scariest part is that millions watch these programs, they're mostly 65-85 of age AND 80% of THEM VOTE! (current us pop. figures show approx.60 million of the 260 million are 65 and older, DO THE MATH: Based on figures from 2006 US census bureau, 45% of 18-24 voted (13.5 of 40 million people) 75% of 55-85 voted (60 million of 80 million). I know, I live in a 350 unit housing ( a Union Labor Corporation to boot!) where the average age is 80, and the buzz around here is always how wonderful Jesusis and that wonderful born again president of ours, Bush and that evil man and woman, what's their face....on and on and on, every day. I am not exaggerating. It is beyond scary. The only hope IS that the 18-25, 25-60 age group reach as high a percentage (or higher) AND VOTE to stop the further demonization of the human psyche by the Robertsons, Bakers, Bushes, and other evil, evil christian rightists who HAVE CAPTURED the senior population of this country, deciding for ALL of us who is evil and who isn't. OH, God! never thought twohawks chatters would get me on this one. I want to puke! (too early in the morning for that :p:

Not one iota to be sorry about, SPRING! I don't have the word sorry in my vocabulary---

I've never seen that woman before and don't know who she is, but, GAAWWD she's ugly!! From that picture you posted of her, are you SURE its a woman? It looks A LOT like a man in drag to me, and I've seen quite a few men in drag. Since our church will be a TRUE democracy, we'll take a vote, all those in favor of allowing pink hair lady in say "aye", no one? all those opposed? NO!! okay "no " it is, she can't come, :tribe: she'd probably get drunk and start a fight anyway. I bet BTM could woop her

masterindisguise wrote:

I've never seen that woman before and don't know who she is, but, GAAWWD she's ugly!! From that picture you posted of her, are you SURE its a woman? It looks A LOT like a man in drag to me, and I've seen quite a few men in drag. Since our church will be a TRUE democracy, we'll take a vote, all those in favor of allowing pink hair lady in say "aye", no one? all those opposed? NO!! okay "no " it is, she can't come, :tribe: she'd probably get drunk and start a fight anyway. I bet BTM could woop her

Yep I believe you are right! BTM is one ferocious warrior!

MID just for your info, not only is she ugly she tries to speak like Marilyn Monroe! She has this breathless voice thing going on like she is the biggest sex symbol alive. She even prays in that breathless voice. It is disgusting!

Gawd! What if one of willy's dead pickles jumped out of glass and slapped her on the face? Got to tell this joke:

One day this Italian stud muffin was talkin to his wife while standin naked in front of the mirror, sayin, "Honey, I'm all tan and muscled everywhere cept this white pink patch here (pointing to his tools)." "Go to the nude beach, darlin, get it the same luscious brown I like."

So he does, only he goes to the gay beach, figuring he won't get aroused there, too embarassing for him and his reputation (his name was George).

He thinks, "but if I lie here naked, everything will be black by the time my patch gets brown. I know! I'll bury myself in the sand up to my nose and mouth and let just the dickey get tanned.

In the meantime, two drag queens, Laura and Hillary were talkin about "when I was twenty, it was everywhere. And when I was thirty, Laura replied it still was everywhere but a little harder to get. "When I was forty, I had to start lookin for it, "and when I was 50, Laura replied, I had to pay for it, "And when I was sixty, Hillary replied, I simply lost interest in it.

By this time they were nearing the gay beach where George was lying.
"And now when I'm reaching 70, Laura replied, as she turned her head, its growing wild everywhere, and I'm too stiff to even squat on it.

"And yeah, Hillary replied, with all that make-up on your face, Laura, by the time you reach 80, you won't know what happened if it walked up to you and slapped you in the face!"

Wild Dove quick hide the pickles! We need them for our dead cucumber cocktails. :bag:

Laura bought em out last week. Also my egg-on-your-face removal kits AND our extra large Security Blankets That Can Cover ALL the sins of your Family supplies. (I lost my custon krisjun coalition sunglasses, too. Just can't "See the Light" anymore....

Laura bought em out last week. Also my egg-on-your-face removal kits AND our extra large Security Blankets That Can Cover ALL the sins of your Family supplies. (I lost my custon krisjun coalition sunglasses, too. Just can't "See the Light" anymore....