Visions, Predictions, Psychic Impressions, Dreams, Channelings, Astrology
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  
Latest topics
» Remember the Alamo
Mon May 27, 2013 12:16 pm by masterindisguise

» Joplin and Moore
Wed May 22, 2013 8:45 am by masterindisguise

» Brenda's Blog - physical healing
Thu May 09, 2013 9:21 am by masterindisguise

» First Signs of Physical Acscension Are Here
Mon May 06, 2013 9:55 am by masterindisguise

» Growing Our Miraculous Manifestations
Mon May 06, 2013 9:41 am by masterindisguise

» Power Path May 2013
Sun May 05, 2013 2:49 pm by masterindisguise

» Eclipses of 2013 help access spaces between dimensions
Sun May 05, 2013 1:52 pm by masterindisguise

» Full moon vision gold mining
Thu Apr 25, 2013 10:14 am by masterindisguise

» Scorpio full moon notes 4/25/13
Thu Apr 25, 2013 10:12 am by masterindisguise

Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search
Forum
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Who is online?
In total there are 7 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 7 Guests

None

Most users ever online was 27 on Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:57 pm

Share | 
 

 Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Kids Say the Darndest Things!   Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:49 am

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move', answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.'

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later, 'Dad....' 'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?' 'No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later, 'Da-aaaad.....' 'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!' Five minutes later, 'Daaaa-aaaad.....' 'WHAT!' 'When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?'

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?' The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.' A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice; 'The big sissy.'

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?' The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron.'

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, 'but what's growing in your butt?'

laugh

7. FOR MY TEACHER FRIENDS: A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mom.' 'And is this how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked. 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?' The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?' After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '...and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said; 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.' The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?' Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys; they're too rough.' The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, 'If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

:laugh4:
Back to top Go down
Liam

avatar

Male
Number of posts : 423
Age : 26
Location : Middlesbrough
Humor : Decent
Registration date : 2007-08-05

PostSubject: Re: Kids Say the Darndest Things!   Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:34 pm

11) One day a boy posted on a forum, he posted something wittty.

The end.
Back to top Go down
Spring Miracles
Admin
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 1440
Age : 62
Location : In My Fortitude
Registration date : 2007-08-05

PostSubject: Re: Kids Say the Darndest Things!   Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:09 am

Quote :
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '...and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said; 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

:laugh4: I love that one!

_________________
"You don't stand a chance against my prayers. You don't stand a chance against my love."
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Kids Say the Darndest Things!   

Back to top Go down
 
Kids Say the Darndest Things!
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» MISSING KIDS FOUND ALIVE IN TRASH CANS IN OHIO!!!
» this is what would have happned to the mcanns in australia department of human services says leaving kids alone is wrong
» AWARENESS VIDEOS FOR KIDS WHO USE THE INTERNET
» "Caged Kids" Adoptive Parents Released From Prison
» Fire tragedy kills 3 kids

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Twohawk's Nest :: Food for Thought :: Humor-
Jump to: