THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'.
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.
'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man
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15.
LOUSY AT MATH
Once a group of thieves stole a rare diamond larger than a goose egg.
Its value could have easily bought one thousand horses
And two thousand acres of the most fertile land in Shiraz.
The thieves got drunk that night to celebrate their great haul,
But during the course of the evening, the effects of the liquor
And their mistrust of each other grew to such an extent
They decided to divide the stone into pieces.
Of course then the Priceless became lost.
Most everyone is lousy at math and does that to God -
Dissects the Indivisible One, by thinking, saying,
"This is my Beloved, he looks like this
And acts like that, how could that moron over there really be God."
~ Hafiz ~
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