http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/-t1.htm Knee-slappers! Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:42:28 GMT 10 http://i18.servimg.com/u/f18/11/45/46/05/hawks_10.jpg http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/-t1.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/mitch-hedberg-t1851.htm Melissa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk8n31QrPKA Humor Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:42:28 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/mitch-hedberg-t1851.htm#7663 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/mitch-hedberg-t1851.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/your-cheatin-heart-t1795.htm Osiris
********* Warning*********

This video contains a few choice Adult Words, so if you are sensative to reading street language of today, do not open this link.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBXxbsOoFr4]]> Humor Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:53:52 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/your-cheatin-heart-t1795.htm#7454 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/your-cheatin-heart-t1795.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/for-all-ye-cats-and-mice-out-there-t1781.htm Wild Dove "Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; ... Humor Wed, 21 Oct 2009 06:05:18 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/for-all-ye-cats-and-mice-out-there-t1781.htm#7425 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/for-all-ye-cats-and-mice-out-there-t1781.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/joke-time-ucows-t1780.htm Wild Dove "Whatcha doin' here?" asks the squirrel.
"I'm here to eat some apples."
"But this is a pine tree!"
"I know. I brought my own apples."]]> Humor Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:57:45 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/joke-time-ucows-t1780.htm#7424 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/joke-time-ucows-t1780.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/jackpot-t1747.htm masterindisguise Motorcyclist riding with baby leads to 3 arrests Email this Story Sep 30, 9:26 PM (ET) JONESBOROUGH, Tenn. (AP) - Washington County authorities said a motorcyclist riding down the road without a helmet led to a series of discoveries and three arrests. The Johnson City Press reported that when officers stopped 21-year-old outside his home on Tuesday, they found he wasn't alone. The man also had an 18-month-old baby on board, also without a helmet. As they wrote him up for reckless ... Humor Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:04:31 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/jackpot-t1747.htm#7318 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/jackpot-t1747.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/mobile-loo-s-wacky-warning-t1646.htm masterindisguise Mobile loo's winning wacky warning: Stop, then go Email this Story Apr 29, 9:02 PM (ET) By BEN LEUBSDORF DETROIT (AP) - A toilet seat that attaches to a trailer hitch has gained national recognition - for a warning label that says you'd better not use it while the vehicle is moving. "The Original Off-Road Commode" won this year's "Wacky Warning Labels" contest, organizers announced Wednesday. The contest, now in its 12th year, is intended to highlight claims ... Humor Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:37:43 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/mobile-loo-s-wacky-warning-t1646.htm#7093 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/mobile-loo-s-wacky-warning-t1646.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/right-to-laugh-manifesto-t1642.htm masterindisguise From: http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/humanifesto.html The Right-To-Laugh Party Humanifesto We believe that every human has the right to laugh, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness unless of course happiness is a warm gun, in which case some restrictions may apply. We have the right and duty to laugh at our leaders, particularly those times when their actions are either seriously foolish or foolishly serious. We have the right to help them laugh with each other and at themselves, ... Humor Sun, 26 Apr 2009 21:44:11 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/right-to-laugh-manifesto-t1642.htm#7084 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/right-to-laugh-manifesto-t1642.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/how-to-tick-people-off-t1619.htm masterindisguise HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF 1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO." 4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions ... Humor Tue, 07 Apr 2009 14:47:42 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/how-to-tick-people-off-t1619.htm#7035 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/how-to-tick-people-off-t1619.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/grandma-tells-all-t1597.htm masterindisguise Grandma Tells It Like It Is!!! Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your ... Humor Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:37:51 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/grandma-tells-all-t1597.htm#6981 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/grandma-tells-all-t1597.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/good-intentions-t1591.htm masterindisguise Mayor scales ladder to 'rescue' sunbathing dog Email this Story Mar 4, 9:02 PM (ET) BROWNSVILLE, Texas (AP) - A South Texas mayor became so concerned about reports of a Great Dane being stuck on a second-story balcony that he alerted emergency workers, went to the location himself, scaled a fire department ladder and entered the apartment to help the dog. The problem was, the dog wasn't in distress. The bigger problem came when the surprised dog owner found Mayor Pat Ahumada standing ... Humor Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:31:50 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/good-intentions-t1591.htm#6972 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/good-intentions-t1591.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/w-s-presidential-library-t1550.htm masterindisguise Dear Fellow Constituent The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include: The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out. The ... Humor Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:41:09 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/w-s-presidential-library-t1550.htm#6838 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/w-s-presidential-library-t1550.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/why-girls-don-t-fart-t1545.htm masterindisguise http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1803422]]> Humor Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:57:00 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/why-girls-don-t-fart-t1545.htm#6832 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/why-girls-don-t-fart-t1545.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/runaway-poodle-t1514.htm masterindisguise Runaway poodle delays flights at Boston airport Email this Story Oct 27, 12:02 PM (ET) BOSTON (AP) - Choochy the poodle is a "runway runaway." Boston's Logan International Airport officials say Choochy escaped from her kennel as she was being unloaded after a flight from Detroit Saturday night and scampered across runways and taxiways. Airport spokesman Phil Orlandella says the poodle evaded airport personnel for more than 17 hours and delayed at least eight flights. About ... Humor Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:23:21 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/runaway-poodle-t1514.htm#6773 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/runaway-poodle-t1514.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/new-government-seal-t1491.htm masterindisguise New Government Seal: Official Announcement http://danielac.tumblr.com/post/25107027/the-new-york-nerd-new-government-seal-official The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! Humor Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:55:31 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/new-government-seal-t1491.htm#6709 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/new-government-seal-t1491.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/that-parrot-t1485.htm masterindisguise That parrot! So, there was this huge ocean liner with wonderful entertainmentŠ floor shows of singing, dancing, jazz, classical and contemporary musicŠ and especially a magician that could do exceptional magicŠ However, there was a retired pirate on board whose parrot would spoil virtually every act from the back of the audience with, "It's up his sleeve", "It's under the table", "It's behind him".. This was driving the magician crazy and not helping the audience. Then ... Humor Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:55:11 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/that-parrot-t1485.htm#6698 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/that-parrot-t1485.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/true-story-t1476.htm masterindisguise Now this is funny. Man nabbed for skinny dipping in Japan palace moat Email this Story Oct 7, 5:10 AM (ET) By MARI YAMAGUCHI (AP) A man identified as a middle-aged Westerner swims in the moat of the Imperial Palace in Tokyo as... Full Image TOKYO (AP) - Police have apprehended a Western man who went skinny dipping in a moat ringing the Imperial Palace in a busy Tokyo business district, attracting a huge crowd, officials said Tuesday. The naked middle-aged ... Humor Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:40:58 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/true-story-t1476.htm#6674 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/true-story-t1476.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/i-made-up-an-energy-drink-t1447.htm Scionus ]]> Humor Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:45:14 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/i-made-up-an-energy-drink-t1447.htm#6593 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/i-made-up-an-energy-drink-t1447.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-miracle-of-toilet-paper-t1415.htm masterindisguise THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'. Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How ... Humor Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:06:01 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-miracle-of-toilet-paper-t1415.htm#6466 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-miracle-of-toilet-paper-t1415.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/housing-complaints-t1407.htm masterindisguise COUNCIL HOUSING COMPLAINTS FROM AROUND THE COUNTRY (AUSTRALIA) Listed below are genuine clips from council complaint letters: 1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. 2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. 3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow. 4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 5. I wish to complain ... Humor Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:34:13 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/housing-complaints-t1407.htm#6439 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/housing-complaints-t1407.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/click-on-the-ball-t1390.htm FliesWithoutWings http://mazzanet.id.au/ball.php Warning, not for those lacking hand eye coordination, could be habit forming !!! The ball changes color when you finally click on it ! :laugh:]]> Humor Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:53:37 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/click-on-the-ball-t1390.htm#6398 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/click-on-the-ball-t1390.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/dogs-and-light-bulbs-t1311.htm Spring Miracles How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? 1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 4. Rottweiler: Make me. 5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! ... Humor Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:04:13 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/dogs-and-light-bulbs-t1311.htm#6056 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/dogs-and-light-bulbs-t1311.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/honest-research-t1309.htm Tautog With apologies. -------------------- One day Jesus and his apostles in heaven are having a meeting to discuss drug problems all over the world and how drugs are destroying families and so on. They've never tried any, so they don't know what the effects are like, so they decide to go to Earth to gather some drugs for research. Jesus stays behind to wait, and after five days someone knocks on the door. -Knock, knock -Who is it? -It's me, St. Peter. -What did you bring? -Cocaine ... Humor Sun, 22 Jun 2008 05:37:12 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/honest-research-t1309.htm#6052 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/honest-research-t1309.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/our-dependency-on-computers-t1289.htm Anonymous This is a simple test to see how dependent you are on your computer. Are you a man or a woman? Look down for the answer. I said, "look down" NOT "scroll down" silly! LOL Humor Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:17:19 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/our-dependency-on-computers-t1289.htm#5983 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/our-dependency-on-computers-t1289.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/raising-baby-t1283.htm Spring Miracles Oh these are so funny. Great book for a baby shower gift. http://www.amazon.com/Safe-Baby-Handling-Tips-David/dp/0762424915/?tag=c00lstuff-20 Humor Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:51:18 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/raising-baby-t1283.htm#5937 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/raising-baby-t1283.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/microsoft-vs-gm-t1275.htm masterindisguise Microsoft vs General Motors.... For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.' In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release ... Humor Mon, 16 Jun 2008 21:45:29 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/microsoft-vs-gm-t1275.htm#5878 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/microsoft-vs-gm-t1275.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/funny-pic-d-t1261.htm Liam ]]> Humor Sat, 14 Jun 2008 10:57:22 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/funny-pic-d-t1261.htm#5843 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/funny-pic-d-t1261.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/two-s-amazing-fishing-pole-adventure-pics-t1241.htm Anonymous


]]> Humor Sun, 08 Jun 2008 15:22:20 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/two-s-amazing-fishing-pole-adventure-pics-t1241.htm#5766 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/two-s-amazing-fishing-pole-adventure-pics-t1241.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-good-husband-t1217.htm Spring Miracles THE GOOD HUSBAND Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose ! ! Jack ... Humor Tue, 03 Jun 2008 14:09:18 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-good-husband-t1217.htm#5693 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-good-husband-t1217.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/sports-t1206.htm masterindisguise INTERESTING OBSERVATION 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. 5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. and.... 6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF. THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you go in the corporate structure, the ... Humor Sat, 31 May 2008 17:12:04 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/sports-t1206.htm#5633 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/sports-t1206.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/chicken-part-2-t1201.htm Spring Miracles Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road - Part Two... MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that ... Humor Thu, 29 May 2008 12:04:05 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/chicken-part-2-t1201.htm#5616 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/chicken-part-2-t1201.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/why-the-chicken-crossed-the-road-part-1-t1200.htm Spring Miracles Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road - Part One... BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ... Humor Wed, 28 May 2008 16:22:30 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/why-the-chicken-crossed-the-road-part-1-t1200.htm#5605 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/why-the-chicken-crossed-the-road-part-1-t1200.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/best-of-late-night-t1190.htm Spring Miracles The Best of Late Night... "While campaigning in Kentucky, Hillary Clinton stopped at a drugstore and bought a pair of reading glasses. It's true. Yeah, then she picked up a newspaper and said, 'Holy crap, I got to drop out of this race.'" -Conan O'Brien "President Bush was in Saudi Arabia to mark 75 years of official relations with the royal family. And 40 years of officially being screwed royally by that family. Did you see the present the royal family gave President ... Humor Fri, 23 May 2008 13:18:00 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/best-of-late-night-t1190.htm#5562 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/best-of-late-night-t1190.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/dear-abby-t1184.htm Spring Miracles Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always ... Humor Wed, 21 May 2008 18:58:29 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/dear-abby-t1184.htm#5491 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/dear-abby-t1184.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/new-indian-student-t1159.htm masterindisguise It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said. 'Very good!' Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?' Again, ... Humor Thu, 15 May 2008 18:33:55 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/new-indian-student-t1159.htm#5372 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/new-indian-student-t1159.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/simple-home-remedies-t1136.htm masterindisguise AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. ... Humor Fri, 02 May 2008 18:24:46 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/simple-home-remedies-t1136.htm#5309 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/simple-home-remedies-t1136.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/i-found-your-cat-t1105.htm Spring Miracles ]]> Humor Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:58:43 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/i-found-your-cat-t1105.htm#5165 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/i-found-your-cat-t1105.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/payback-t1083.htm masterindisguise Iowa pranksters get just desserts: 3,000 forks in their yard Email this Story Apr 16, 4:55 PM (ET) DUBUQUE, Iowa (AP) - When known pranksters Rick and Marilyn Jones left town for a wedding, neighbors seeking payback eyed their property and decided to stick a fork in it - a few thousand forks, in fact. Tom and Paula Tschudi planted 3,000 white plastic forks in the Jones' yard and dangled more from the roof, fence and garage. "We just wanted to do something funny to ... Humor Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:40:42 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/payback-t1083.htm#4959 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/payback-t1083.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/aaadd-t1071.htm masterindisguise Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to bring the mail inside and go through it before I wash ... Humor Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:15:10 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/aaadd-t1071.htm#4884 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/aaadd-t1071.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/panhandlers-t1057.htm masterindisguise Jose and Carlos are panhandlers......They panhandle on different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose, but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Carlos says to Jose "I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?". Jose says , ..... ... Humor Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:46:03 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/panhandlers-t1057.htm#4855 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/panhandlers-t1057.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/smile-t1013.htm masterindisguise http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/3/20/smile-some-pictures-to-brighten-your-day.aspx


these are cute!]]> Humor Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:28:38 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/smile-t1013.htm#4706 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/smile-t1013.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/giving-your-cat-a-pill-t982.htm masterindisguise I almost fell out my chair laughing so hard! Instructions for giving your cat a pill: 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) ... Humor Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:56:16 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/giving-your-cat-a-pill-t982.htm#4607 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/giving-your-cat-a-pill-t982.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/bad-weather-t977.htm masterindisguise Bad Weather Although he was a qualified meteorologist, a local broadcaster ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the ... Humor Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:07:36 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/bad-weather-t977.htm#4581 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/bad-weather-t977.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/psychic-kid-t969.htm masterindisguise father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story & > listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless > Daddy, God bless Grandma & good-bye Grandpa." > > The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" > > The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing > to do." > > The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was ... Humor Fri, 07 Mar 2008 20:03:03 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/psychic-kid-t969.htm#4544 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/psychic-kid-t969.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/more-best-of-late-night-t964.htm Spring Miracles The Best of Late Night... "Yesterday, presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said that he won’t stay in the race beyond reason. Then Huckabee announced he’s dropping out six weeks ago." -Conan O'Brien "Katie Holmes may be pregnant! That’s the scuttlebutt around Hollywood. Tom Cruise says he wants a boy. He doesn’t care what sex the baby is . . . he really wants a boy." -Craig Ferguson "In a press conference today, President Bush announced ... Humor Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:09:28 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/more-best-of-late-night-t964.htm#4537 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/more-best-of-late-night-t964.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-best-of-late-night-t941.htm Spring Miracles The Best of Late Night... "Ralph Nader has decided to run for president. Well you thought Mike Huckabee didn’t know when to quit. In fact, Ralph Nader’s campaign slogan? 'It’s me again.'" -Jay Leno "This just in: Barack Obama says he has a plan for getting us out of the Academy Awards. The show was very long. I think it takes a lot of nerve for a show that is 4 ½ hours long to give out an award for editing." -David Letterman "The ... Humor Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:31:11 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-best-of-late-night-t941.htm#4392 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-best-of-late-night-t941.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-four-stages-of-life-t939.htm Spring Miracles
The Four Stages of Life]]> Humor Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:20:22 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-four-stages-of-life-t939.htm#4386 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-four-stages-of-life-t939.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-best-of-late-night-t924.htm Spring Miracles The Best of Late Night... "Out in California, they recalled 143 million pounds of tainted beef. That’s one triple-stacked burger at Wendy’s. A hundred forty three million pounds of tainted beef! I believe that’s the largest amount of tainted meat since Roger Clemens." -David Letterman "John McCain seems reinvigorated. He has a new campaign slogan, 'he’ll lead you into the 21st century.' I like it better than his old slogan, 'he’ll lead you into assisted living.'" ... Humor Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:55:25 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-best-of-late-night-t924.htm#4277 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/the-best-of-late-night-t924.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/rock-on-t867.htm Spring Miracles Let's all get one! Time to form the Two Hawks band!

]]> Humor Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:15:40 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/rock-on-t867.htm#3970 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/rock-on-t867.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/what-not-to-say-to-your-valentine-t874.htm Spring Miracles What Not To Say To Your Valentine... :rose: These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line: I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowls empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you ... Humor Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:55:02 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/what-not-to-say-to-your-valentine-t874.htm#3999 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/what-not-to-say-to-your-valentine-t874.htm http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/nintendo-64-kid-t894.htm Liam http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpJyG7B6tAI

WATCH

Please]]> Humor Sat, 16 Feb 2008 21:35:05 GMT http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/nintendo-64-kid-t894.htm#4127 http://twohawks.forumotion.com/humor-f23/nintendo-64-kid-t894.htm